iPhone 5 - ridiculous rumor edition
Tuesday, October 4, 2011 at 7:20AM 
Today is keynote day.
Obviously, since the invite has 4 icons on it, like the home screen of the 6th generation iPod nano, this will be an iPhone nano.
There will be 8 buttons, because Steve Jobs is no longer at the helm, and you will press at least 3 of them in any attempt to pull it out of your pocket or find which side is the one that has the power button.
Since the phone icon has a red 1 badge on it, this clearly means the phone will have enough battery for 1 phone call, and since AT&T drops all your calls up in here anyway, that ain't saying much.
Oh, and the maps icon isn't actually at Infinite Loop in Cupertino. It's in spaaaaaace. At the space station Steve has built to take us all back to his home planet. (what, you think he actually waited for Cupertino's blessing to start building it?)
In all seriousness, I don't expect as much of a jump as from the 3G to 3GS or 3GS to 4. More like from the iPad to the iPad 2. Thinner, lighter, faster, and able to slice food with its sharp edges. The keynote will have a couple of blunders (maybe a wifi breakdown or two), a dozen developers coming out and talking about how amazing they are, and then maybe a song (since this is also supposed to be the iPod event).
Am I the only one who thinks Apple needs to upend their own table and reinvent the phone...again? It's all gotten just a little too predictable and, dare I say it, ho hum. They raised their bar so high with the first one that anything less than such a raise is now merely evolutionary, and maybe in some ways a little disappointing.